Corrupt a Wish

This is the game of wish-granting and pessimism.

Basically one person wishes for something, and the next poster finds a bad consequence to go along with it, then they make a wish, and the chain of corruption goes on with the next poster.

Here is an example:
Wish: I wish I had a won 1 million dollars.
Corrupted Wish: Wish granted, but gift tax takes away all but 5 dollars.

If you are going to make a new post, you must grant and corrupt the previous poster's wish, and you must make a wish yourself. Also do not post anything that would break the site rules.

And now to start:

I wish i had a steak.

Granted but the steak is rotten and covered in mold.

I wish I had a dog.

Granted, but the dog has rabies and is put down. However you are able to get the dog stuffed and it now lies at the foot of your bed...forever...

I wish I didn't have homework.

Granted but everywhere you look all you see is dead people.

I wish you wouldn't corrupt my wish.

Granted, but I corrupt your wish anyway

I wish time would speed up.

Granted, but you instantly grow old and die.

I wish I had no joint pain.

Granted but then you have pain everywhere else.

I wish I wish I was a fish...

Granted, but in order to obtain world peace, all of humanity was destroyed.

I wish I could rob a bank never get caught.

Granted, but heaven starts to burn.

I wish I was wide awake.

Granted, but now when you are tired, you will never fall asleep.

I wish I wasn't hungry.

granted but the fish's older brother kills you too

i wish i could breakdance like those professionals

Granted, but you accidentaly kick a baby.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ff2PBjbFs7A

I wish I could jump like Mario.

Granted, but you jump too high and float in space forever.

I wish it would cool down.

Granted but now you're a chunk of ice! Brrrr!

I wish time would slow down to almost a halt but everyone could still chat with me.

Granted, but you are flooded with chatboxes

I wish I could eat Ramen all the time

Granted, but now you eat Ramen 24/7 and you never have the time to talk or do anything else with your mouth. You also gain weight from eating all the time.

I wish I remembered what to wish for.

Granted but you forget everything but your wish and are a clueless shell in the world.

I wish people actually treated me kindly for once in my life.

granted but then everyone treats you too nice and you never et any "Rebecca" time

Lee to Matt for not making a wish

I wish I had more download limit on my net.

Granted, but now download a virus and your computer crashes and all your hard drive gets wiped.

I wish Mythbusters was on television more often.

Granted bit then Adam kills Jamie and all that's on is reruns
(I have a twisted mind :p)

I wish for a turkey sandwich, with lettece, tomato, on white bread
with no surprises or anything wierd with the sandwich